Archives for posts with tag: social

Time
By: Lone Heron,
Author of Inherited Rage avail @ amazon.com

Time is like a mercurial sand that slips through one’s fingers. We get busy and the next thing you know the day is half gone. The past few years have been that way for me. It does not seem like it has been over a year since I last blogged, but I know it has. It’s actually been longer but who’s counting?

I had wondered if my blogging actually did any good. I knew I had a small handful of peeps who read and found my blogs beneficial because I received a few mails stating that. Another confirmation that blogging was actually making a difference somewhere was the fact: Inherited Rage, which can be found on amazon.com has dramatically decreased sales since I quit blogging. I can definitively say blogging helps sell books. However, selling books was never my main goal, my main goal was to help others- which seemed to do nothing but bring me frustration. It seemed like instead of finding people who I could join my efforts with to make a difference I just found peeps who wanted to argue about what to do or waste my good intentioned energy but never actually doing anything.

For example:
One of the factors that led to this frustration was Dan Daily. I don’t like it when people don’t keep their word and Dan did not keep his word to me.
In 2013 the proceeds from the sales of Inherited Rage were donated to Dan Daily. Dan agreed to use those proceeds to purchase and install a water pump so that water could be pumped to the main dwelling from the reserve tanks instead of being carried. I will spare you the ramble of all of my exchanges with Dan and summarize it. Over a two years later this water pump still had not been installed and to this day I don’t know how he used that money.

I have read it takes a year to really know someone, you must see a person through all four seasons before you have a true picture of their personality.
If someone has made a promise and a year later it still is unfulfilled chances are high that it will never be filled and time has just shown you something about that person.

I am all for helping. I think everyone needs to find people they can help. I think everyone can help in some small way. I do not believe allowing others to take advantage of our good will or continuing to try to help them when they have shown their word cannot be relied upon helps anything. On the contrary I find such events only deteriorate our faith in others and ultimately in ourselves. We are only as good as our word, and when we don’t keep our agreements no matter how large or small we feed the deterioration of our own society.

I am moving away from parricides and their fate, despite the fact that I am a parricide and I know first hand how these events occur. The negativity wrapped around these events and those who fight for and against them are so intense it is heart breaking, gut wrenching, ulcer creating material. Before I quit blogging I exchanged mails with many different young men incarcerated for parricide. Eventually, with a lil luck they will regain their physical freedom. In the meantime they suffer imprisonment simply because their will to live outweighed their willingness to suffer and or die. Is it their fate to be trapped by a government system that cannot keep its word or vision? Almost every parricide case I am aware of has a long abuse history, recorded by social workers and government agencies that are created to stop such atrocities. People know the truth but they turn blind eyes. They are afraid.

I experienced this as a child. I asked for help and I was told I was exaggerating by the very people who told me I could come to them for anything……..anything except the truth.

Time has a way of clarifying peoples words. It has a way of pulling truths to the surface others would prefer stay buried and forgotten. Time will teach you who is and who is not as good as their word. Time is a great balancer of all things but it allows no secret to hide forever. If you ever wonder or question anyone or thing if you are blessed with the luxury of time, watch and wait your answer will come. It always does.

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Learning how to feel
By: lone Heron
Author of Inherited Rage -available at amazon.com

Learning how to communicate requires learning how to listen.

Learning how to truly listen
Requires learning how to feel.
How many can truly honestly say how they feel?
How do you feel today?

If you don’t feel good are you ignoring it just to get through the day? That’s what happens to children of parricide. They have to ignore their feelings just to survive. After years of this practice they become numb just like after listening to loud noises over time causes one to lose hearing. Ignoring how we feel causes a lack of feelings. Most of us have a choice but the child of parricide has no more of a choice about his feelings than the soldier who fights with heavy artillery has a choice about his hearing- even ear protection will not completely protect from the damage being done.

When we don’t have the compassion or the feeling to lift a finger to aide another in assistance when they are asking for it what gives us the right to judge them after they take care of the problem themselves? A good majority of our good Christian citizens who tell us we shouldn’t judge will be the first ones to turn on the evening news and make decisions they lack the information to honestly make. Looks like Judgement in my mind. The very Christians that turned a blind eye unwilling to help were the same damn busy bodies that visited me in jail wanting to help- but then it was tooooooo late. God will save you they said- to which I think if god worked those good Christians would have intervened but they did not because they only quoted what the bible said about God- that same program they were taught did not work at my house. They could not conceive much less understand and so they judged and to this day many still do. It is a very sad situation, ignorance and fear breed segregation that is based upon emotional intelligence which relates to how we feel that the majority never even acknowledge.

We are told at various points how we are not to feel- but how are we supposed to feel?
And what do we do with those feelings that gnaw away and turn us into less than what we were meant to be. what are we supposed to do with those feelings we don’t want to feel? I don’t believe it was meant for us to go around feeling like we weren’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, rich enough whatever enough….. But these were the things we learned from a society that doesn’t want to communicate and build but rather a society that needs to tear something down to make an some other individual feel better. What happened to focusing on the subject at hand and dealing with it instead of sweeping it under the rug where it could grow into a monster.
What happened to agreeing to disagree- what happened to the idea of reciprocation? What happened to the idea: If you scratch my back I will scratch yours and everybody can be itch free.

I have helped many and i believe i was able to do so because I learned to help myself first. No one else seemed to be able to hear or wanted to hear what I was saying and therefore they couldn’t help me, but boy did they judge me for helping myself! I believe the ones who were the angriest were also feeling the guiltiest because they didn’t do anything to change the course of anything. Those who stand by and watch the crime occur while doing nothing are as guilty as the ones doing wrong in my opinion. They are approving the action by not defying it. Until our society realizes how they assist in the creation of the crime committed by the criminal we will not resolve our problems. We cannot do this until we learn how to feel. We can not do this until we become more compassionate and accepting of how others feel, and yet the idea of emotional education is very foreign to most of us. We rarely stop and consider how we feel unless something in our body actually hurts, if we were to learn to reflect upon how we feel I am thinking many of our physical as well as emotional and mental issues would automatically dissolve simply because as we started to hone in on how we felt we would also hone in on those lil things that build into big things and stop them before they became crises or monsters.

Throwaway children in a throwaway society.
By Lone Heron

It seems we create a lot of “trash” from people to plastic bottles- we are a discarding society- There seems to be a wasteful mentality that has now grown till the point that it stands ready to devour the discarders themselves.

I wonder, do people hold anything sacred anymore?
Do we appreciate how good we have it? Those from the great depression hold onto everything while their offspring throw it away as fast as they can-

I have heard it said, people cannot appreciate anything they have not earned. I believe there is truth in that, as often people give me things I do not want and I pass them along to others only to wish much later I had held onto that thing that was previously of no value – but I could sure use now.

What will we do as a society when all the people we have thrown away in jail because we did not know what else to do with these individuals who strike fear in our hearts from the actions they took become a burden we can no longer carry?

When will we realize that although they may or may not have been the one to actually commit the crime we all played a part in it- some passively others actively- but we are all guilty- the law agrees with if you were there when the act occurred automatically you are an accomplice wether it’s true or not is not the point – the point is they are doing their job based on what society called for- but most people were thinking mass murders and thieves for crooked reasons not murder for self defense- No, to the law,murder is murder – it is only separated by small degrees of intensity on what kind of murder but no where is there a category of sentencing on murder for self defense -is there? No, that’s just self defense not murder.
How can we blame a kid who is 11,13,15,16,17 even18 years old who put an end to something we as adults would not have tolerated for a day or a week much less decades?

How can we condemn these kids when we know the truth? When we condemn them are we not also condemning ourselves?
If someone is so bad that they must be locked up for life and we must support their incarceration I figure that makes us just as quietly guilty otherwise why would we be willing to work so hard to support something which is a drain to all?

Have we lost so much feeling and resourcefulness to grow that we must penalize those who are doing nothing but trying to survive? Are we so heartless that we will not give a second chance because our fear refuses such opportunity? It might seem so depending on where you look but that is not necessarily the truth either.

Truth is a hard subject – it looks different for everyone- Truth is relative but often ignored-
Punishment delivered by others is never as just as what our subconscious would deliver.
I say this because of my own experience which I have shared in Inherited Rage.
I would really like to hear opinions from others- I would like to know if other people think I would have suffered more in jail- would jail have made me a more moral person? A better citizen? I don’t think so- I think if I had of gone to jail the only difference is the taxpayers would have had to pay my bill. I don’t think I would have the same drive to make amends- and I am pretty sure I would not have near as much to contribute.
I took two lives in defense of my own- my guilt has driven me to give more life back than I ever took – tell me do the majority of the prisoners feel that way?
I don’t know but I would like to know.

Had I trusted those who were sent to help me and told the truth -they would not have helped me- they would have thrown me in the trash and sent the bill to the citizen in taxes and it would have changed nothing. As it was I took a higher path of my own accord and I help pay uncle SAMs bill every year right along with everyone else but I am tired of uncle Sam spending my money and achieving lil or nothing except more debt, more heartache and more empty promises – but I know I can’t even blame the government because the government is controlled indirectly and directly by puppets representing the masses – puppets caught between the higher ups and the lower downs. I ask you why do we need these puppets?

Nothing will change until we change as individuals. Nothing will change until we take out our own trash and face the mountain we have created. I say the worst thing about politicians is not politicians, it’s the people who have elected them to do something with the trash the people have created because they don’t want to get their own hands dirty.

My answer of resolution is get a pair of gloves and get involved. I would like to know what is your plan? I would like to know how we can work together to help everyone- So many look to the government and the government looks to the people- when will we stop rubbernecking while we drive by doing nothing? When will we rise up and pitch in and quit waiting on others to do it for us? When will we become thinkers and doers instead of a nation of watchers? The event of parricide I would gamble to say would never happen if communities would stand up against those who they know are committing such heinous acts. Our ancestors conquered America; we stole it from the Indians- We fought unimaginable things and survived but did we win our freedom simply to turn around and enslave ourselves? Did we win our freedom at the loss of our heart and soul? Did we win our freedom at the expense of others and now karma is serving us up a dose of our own?

That’s how it seems to me. I am not willing to surrender to that demise and I wonder who of you out there is with me? Who is willing to stand and speak and ask not for another slice of pie but instead demand an entirely different kind of pie? Come my fellow countrymen and stand in unison with me- together we can change everything for the better but we must do it collectively Let us rally together and resolve our issues in a chorus so loud that the government officials we have elected can not deny us the one thing we all deserve freedom- and that should include freedom to fight for our lives without penalty even if that means death. Note I did not say murder I said fight for our lives- there is a difference!

Self Defense can look like Murder
By: Lone Heron

Having experienced parricide personally I can tell you – it is a situation of
self defense and even though the events of parricide commonly happen when
the parents are not expecting it and the courts deem them guilty because the
threat was not “imminent” what many don’t seem to understand is when the
events that lead to parricide have been continuing over such a long period of time-
they are imminent! When the nightmare continues to happen and just gets
worse and worse and you know it’s going to happen again that makes it
imminent!

If another country is going to attack us and we know it’s coming it’s ok in
military maneuvers to get the jump and attack first but it’s not ok in a
home where you have grown up under a parent who rules the home like a Nazi
concentration camp? It’s not ok to be in a state of shell shock; that’s the WWI term
for post traumatic stress disorder and fight for your life syndrome. This condition has been
filed under many names throughout history. It is nothing new, but it will never be less awful.

We want to believe that the only one’s who have experienced this are those
who have gone to war- it is impossible for outsiders, even friends and family
to see what truly goes on in parricide situations, just like it took forever
to see what the Nazis were doing. People: you weren’t there, you are not
God, you don’t know and you will never truly understand until you experience
it personally, which I pray you never do but sadly I believe eventually many of
you will because that seems to be what happens to those who pass judgements
on things they don’t know- fate seems to lead them to the experience so they can know.

I personally would absolutely love to see those judges who sentence
parricide children to prison experience one week with my mother as she was
at her peak- I would bet money within one measly week they would start to
think a different way and I wouldn’t give even a year before either the
judge or my mom would be dead.

I will personally challenge anyone who says parricide kids are wrong for
their actions with one question- if you had someone doing things to you like
the Kermodes ( you can read about them in the murder of Jacob,
By: Maryellen Johnson From http://www.pendulumfoundation.com)
do you honestly think you would deserve prison for
saving yourself? I killed my parents when I was 18 in an ultimate act of self defense-
I did not serve a life sentence. – I paid my dues another way you can
read about it – “Inherited Rage” by Lone Heron – Www.amazon.com

DOCTOR? OR LEGALIZED DRUG DEALER?
by: Lone Heron

I have been in communication with a man who was recently diagnosed with liver cancer. The medication his doctor gave him resulted in a horrible rash that left him with more discomfort and nausea than before. The medications for nausea were not working. I showed him how to take a fresh piece of ginger about the size of the pinkie finger from the first knuckle to the tip- cut it up into thin slices and a fresh piece of garlic the same way, a few chopped up mint leaves, pour boiling water and allow to sit til cool. This ginger garlic mint tea settled the nausea in his stomach within ten minutes of drinking. Why did the medical doctors not suggest this? I think this is because many of our “Doctors” are no longer doctors but rather legal drug dealers.

I am not a doctor but I have spent the past twenty years learning and applying alternative healing techniques. I specialize in chronic pain and recovery related specifically to the connective soft tissues in the body, muscles, tendons, ligaments. I consider myself to be more than a licensed massage therapist as i have taken many additional classes in alternative healing and have helped people resolve issues from the common cold to pneumonia, cat scratches to tiger bites. I have helped many to avoid “unavoidable surgeries’ not by doctoring them but by helping them to understand there body and learn to understand the language it speaks.

I often run into people who are having medical issues in arenas i don’t typically deal with but they have not had good results with doctors and modern medicine has not worked and somehow they end up in my world of prevention seeking answers.

I believe because of the internet for the first time in history the patient has the power at their fingertips to double check their doctor and make decisions for themselves. I also think everyone should learn to make decisions for themselves instead of blindly following their doctors advice.

Truth of the matter is, it is becoming dangerous to take your doctor at his word. 100,000 people+ per year die because of medical misdiagnosis and mis-prescribed medications. That number doesn’t even touch the number of people who were simply inconvenienced and did not die. Those statistics don’t tell us the proportion of true successful visits. And how many true successful visits are there? Is is a successful cure if your doctor prescribed you lipitor for your cholesterol issue that you now must be on forever? Not in my book. In my book that is not a cure. In my book that is a legal drug addiction.

How about this example: I have a 9 year old client who at age 7 in a one month period was taken to the emergency room because her asthma was so bad that she had stopped breathing and was turning blue. Her Inhalers were no longer working. Her parents put her on my table as a last ditch effort after putting me off to follow the medical path for about three years. Two bodywork sessions designed to release the spasms in all of her breathing muscles and she has not had an asthma attack in two years.

Two bodywork sessions = $140 and two hours of time
one emergency room visit —–minimal of $500 if not more and your whole day is wasted.

Which treatment would you rather have if you had been this little girl?
An Inhaler or therapeutic bodywork?

Would your medical doctor have given you this option? Chances are not likely.
Doctor’s are not God, they make many mistakes. Make sure you don’t make the mistake of not checking out all of your options. Many surgeries are avoidable. Many drugs are unnecessary
but nothing will change unless you change. Ask your doctor about your options and if he does not have options for you – FIND ANOTHER DOCTOR.

NON-PROFIT EGOMANIA NIGHTMARE
BY; Lone Heron

For the past many years I have been trying to find a non-profit organization to join up with to do my contribution as a good citizen and play my part. I have worked with non profits rescuing dogs and horses as well as children and the homeless. I even thought of trying to start my own non profit to help others but the truth of the matter is we don’t need another struggling non profit pretending to be something more than a smart way to avoid taxes.

Every single non profit group I found were up to their ears with more work than they could handle. They were so focused on the quantity that in many cases they forget about quality. I hold myself by a fairly high moral code I am told- I don’t think about it like that really, I try to do what I think is right even when those around me do not agree. I don’t agree with doing things “half ass’ I don’t agree with shutting up and going home. I don’t agree with “my way or the highway” even though I know sometimes that is the only way things can work. I say all this because in my tour of non-profits I found a lot of “half ass’. I found a lot of egos with good intentions but stalwart positions which do little to embrace the BIGGER PICTURE! I found a lot of people focused on their little corner of the problematic mountain. Every single individual I met had the cause they fought for held like a dog with a bone. Their determination to make a change was admirable, the dedication i found was amazing, the passion in these people was so unmistakable i wondered with some were they passionate or just plain crazy. Let me give you an example:

I have a long history with horses, climbed on my first one all by my self at age three and have been on and off horses ever since. I am 45 years old. I have ridden horses that were reputed unrideable, I have been called both a horse and dog whisperer by others. I don’t think there is any whispering involved personally, just common courtesy and respect.

I joined a non profit horse rescue group- the perfect place for me – I thought. I went to work with horses to get them people friendly and trusting again. The non profit starter, founder, generator, leader whatever his title was had a love for horses and was an excellent endurance rider in his youth which had past and been replaced with a weight that was unbearable by many of the horses in his “rescue” care and when he saw the progress I made I was asked to give lessons. No problem. Then the non profit tax evader to have a private hobby says to me this is how we give lessons – he then proceeds to bring in a kid who has never been on a horse except for a lead pony and throw the kid up on the horse hand him the reigns and say “go ride” and he hands me another set of reigns to another horse and says go ride with him. OK I spent 5 years working at a stable learning how to handle horses safely and this is not the way and i explain to him if i am going to give lessons we have ground lessons first to which he says to me “Dad is watching, dad is paying, you ride” I rode that day and i taught the boy a lot and after they left the egomania nightmare began in which i was yelled at and told i didn’t know what i was talking about when i told him he was creating a situation that eventually was gonna get someone hurt – long story short that was the last time i volunteered at that non-profit. I could go on and on with dozens of different similar examples. I can tell you that many non profits are good but not all of them so research your non profit- Know the people and how they are spending your money. To me a non-profit who is spending money to celebrate all the money they raised is not a good non-profit. put it in the paper put it on the wall of accomplishments but not in conjunction with all group members tying one on.
I personally don’t want my donations being wasted on getting a single volunteer drunk on cheap wine. Sorry but I will not donate to those groups. I will not donate to the group that has a group of animals whose needs are being ignored only to a lesser degree than before.

I found a few good people in non-profits who have stayed the course and they hold a true honorable course without wasting, grumbling or whining. They put their shoulder to the harness and heave ho only to find themselves limited by others around them. I am not naming any names here because i do not want to create further problems for those who are already overwhelmed and doing there best. For the rest I encourage you make this your motto:

“GOOD, BETTER, BEST – NEVER LET IT REST,
TIL YOUR GOOD IS BETTER & YOUR BETTER IS BEST”

I finally decided that non-profit should mean non-profit which simply means you don’t get crap.
This is not the same as profit by evasion or illusion, some people pretend they are working when they aren’t. From here on out I will continue to volunteer but i will do it on a private individual level. I will help those who I see trying to help themselves and the ones who ask for help and then stand around and do nothing to help… I will walk on by. Discernment is something we all need to learn and forgive me for saying, but some people just need to suffer. They dug the hole, they wont grab the rope, you get them out, they jumped back in – they must wanna suffer – so let them.

For the reader that notices i have reposted articles from non profits on my blog when i do this i am only endorsing the author of the reposted article NOT the non profit itself.

Personally I have come to the conclusion that all non-profit really means is ‘TAX BREAK”
I personally think everyone should pay taxes in ratio to income- yes i said it: the rich should pay more! WHY would i say that? Because the rich would not be rich if the poor man was not making him so. Every one I have ever known or heard of or studied who has created something that has made him wealthy did not do it alone. Think about that the next time your “wealthy” friend asks you for a favor. The next time you watch a million dollar moviestar movie ask yourself do you really want to pay this movie star to set a party lifestyle in the tabloids to influence your kids with while your money is accumulating to bail them out of whatever trouble they start? I personally think a certain amount of the money they make from us poor peeps should be required to help us not another countries poor peeps……. but what do i know? I know this I don’t have to watch their movies!

Is There a Way to Prevent Parricide?

By: Lone Heron

I believe parricide could be prevented but it will require individuals in the community to stand together, to be alert, to communicate, collect evidence and offer assistance.

Generally, the first to know something is wrong in a child’s life is the child’s peers. Kids talk to kids when they won’t talk to adults. Very often kids may not necessarily understand what they know–meaning they might know something is wrong, but not really know why or how to fix it.

They may realize their friend gets yelled at a lot or has odd bruises (but then again they may never see the bruises. Abusers are adept at hiding signs of their pathology.) They may notice that “Jacob” or “James” has excessive chores or may have a tendency to be tired and sleepy in class.

Signs that all is not right at home manifest in many ways. We just need to learn to read the language. A consistently disheveled appearance, or being consistently overdressed, or over-prepared might be a clue. Perhaps a child who is not allowed to date or who speaks in extremes, consistently becoming angrier in his/her commentary about their parents. When a peer hears another classmate saying things like “I hate my mother, father, parents…”

Hate is a very strong word. Many teenagers will use the term at least once in their childhood, particularly if they have a parent who is truly watching out for their wellbeing. For example, I think it unwise for a 14-year-old to date a 17-year- old and it is very easy to imagine that very put upon 14-yr-old pulling a tantrum and screaming, “I hate you!”. However, she’ll soon get over it. That’s just part of the hormone/angst/drama thing that is part of being a teenager.

There’s a difference between that and an abused child’s behavior, and for those who choose to observe – particularly trained professionals such as teachers and counselors – the differences are obvious.

In cases like Jacob Ind’s, had the community gathered as a group and approached Jacob’s parents and even removed Jacob from the residence his entire life would have taken a different course.

He certainly wouldn’t be dying a slow death behind prison walls.

The warning flags for parricide can be predicted and they can be stopped.

In my opinion, it should be standard protocol to question any child who has made statements to the effect of wishing their parents dead. I do not believe this is “normal” childhood rebellion or even simple teen angst; it is a red flag that demands attention and is a cry for some kind of help.

Who am I to have all these thoughts? Just another parricide survivor who is just as tired of hearing about parricide as cops are of coming on the scene of just another driver who was mutilated because he chose not to wear his seatbelt.

Jacob Ind and I both tried to get help as did other parricide children- but to no avail, our only option was to help ourselves….our instinct for survival took over and we did just that. Until those who surround these types of situations rise and stand strong against such occurrences we will continue to see them happen.

You can read my story “Inherited Rage” at http://www.amazon.com
You can find the murder of Jacob under Maryellen’s blogs at http://www.pendulumfoundation.com
http://www.change.org/petitions/free-jacob-ind-and-other-abused-kids.

Please read our stories and share them with your family and friends. Learn what you can do to stop these events from happening in your neighborhoods. Please share your ideas or thoughts and help us build a better community for everyone.