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By: Lone Heron

The word conjures up images for most of us.

For those children who were lucky enough to land in the Leave it to Beaver families home brings to mind loving supportive parents, apple pies, perhaps a beloved family pet, a childhood friend or activity- always with smiles and hugs.

But for the parricide child it brings a different set of memories. They are generally as dark as the Beavers were light.

My how the world has changed. Did parricide, the killing of one’s parents, occur in the 50’s? I bet it did since it’s been occurring since the beginning of time just like everything else.

Until the past 20-30 years though parricide has remained swept carefully under the family rug. Now that dirt has leaked out onto the internet, we’re told we have a national average of 300 kids per year. And yet they say incidents are actually declining- I wonder how can they be sure? I wonder how many are out there just like me who by the grace of GOD slipped through the cracks of the legal system.

Parents speak to your kids about abuse – look out for the Jacobs and those like him whose only crime was defending their own life.

And for the judges and prosecutors of our courts: when you have been living in this situation and you know it’s going to happen again and each time is worse. Knowing it’s coming IS IMMINENT! So you are going to have to change your definition of first-degree murder. And consider these killings are acts of self-defense which may look like murder but its not quite the same.

It seems that its ok for our military in war but not for a child left behind in familial war.

Hypocrisy I say.

Inherited Rage by Lone Heron can be purchased at http://www.amazon.com

“The murder of Jacob”by Maryellen Johnson can be found at http://www.pendulumfoundation

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Which would you choose: Cock, Snake &; Dog or Prison for life?
By: Lone Heron
Author: Inherited Rage http://www.amazon.com
Www.survivingrage.wordress.com

Google it if you don’t believe me, Worst roman punishment- applicable to parricide- the kid killed the parents and the authorities of the day then took a rooster, a dog and a poisonous snake along with the child who committed the crime of parricide- put them in a sack – tied the opening shut and throw them all in the river! Talk about case closed, that would do it, or at least that was the end of that one particular case. But what about the hundreds of thousands of kids who would commit this same crime of self defense down the lines of history and evolution? What about the ones that our society has sentenced?

I personally do not believe the crime of parricide deserves any punishment. These kids paid for their “crime” long before the idea to kill ever came into their consciousness. These kids are not criminals- they do not attack people out of the blue and should not be compared to a kid who is in jail for a drive by shooting on a complete stranger. A parricide child’s defense of himself should no more be considered a crime than the 83 year old who shot an intruder in the dark.

I do believe these kids should be given therapy and sent to school and protected from falling into the realms of education by those who pursue criminal activity because everyone else they know is and its “cool” not because someone who has repeatedly hurt them finally got a well deserved dose of their own! Yes I am opinionated about this particular subject because I have lived it and in this case I happen to believe I probably know more about parricide than 95% of anybody. Now I may not know the laws like Paul Mones, I may not know the psychology like dr Heidii but I know what it takes to heal from these events and I know that these events do not occur because parricide kids are “bad” I know this because I am a parricide kid all grown up into a productive, valued and appreciated adult member of society. I know more about parricide than you can ever learn from a book or a theory or a study because I lived it and I can tell you it’s not the child you should fear, but rather what you teach the child. What you give is what you will get. I would guess most parricide children are indigos (you can google indigo children to learn more). Indigos are excellent mirrors- and they are also very sensitive. They are agents of change.

We need change in this world. We need education instead of argumentation, we need education instead of medication but we won’t receive these things until we choose them. Until that time we will continue to struggle with these same negative elements in society. We need cooperation, understanding and patience to turn our ships around. We need a desire to do better in order to get better and we must get involved however we can, there is plenty to do and everyone can do something.

You can throw the “problem” in a bag or lock it up in a cell but it won’t stop the event from happening again if you just keep on living like you always have. It took the events of parricide
And untold hours of healing time for me to come to this stage. Each step I made was a choice sometimes conscious and others totally directed by subconsciousness. We are all the same and only when we change ourselves from within will the reflection the world gives back change.

Fighting only brings more fighting. Imprisonment only brings more imprisonment, not just for those imprisoned but most especially for those who are paying for the imprisonment of others. Whatever you do to another you do to yourself. We often don’t think about things like that but it is true, it is not always either immediate or literal but it is always true with a twist we often cannot foresee.

I think a lot – many tell me I think to much- but we were given a brain for a reason- and it has been through thinking and education more than anything else that has fed my quest in finding peace within me. The more ok I become with me the more powerful I become at attracting good things in my life. The more I focus on those the better I do. I bring good things by doing good things and by not agreeing to let others do bad things to me and that includes hitting me or putting me at risk or degrading me verbally. We all choose or we choose not to make a choice and then someone else will choose for us. So I will continue to think about things like “justice” and ”
judgement” and I will continue to agree to disagree as I use my thoughts to sail me deeper and deeper into a state of satisfaction and contentment.

Thoughts are important- they are the beginning of every path created,
So….
THINK GOOD THOUGHTS
~ words become actions ~ actions become habits
~habits become character ~ character becomes destiny.

So no matter if you end up in the ditch in the cold mud or
On a sunny hill under the dappled shade of a great oak
You took yourself there by the choices you made first and
foremost in the thoughts you thought whether you were consciously aware or not.

As a society we passed judgement (1st strike)
And said “the wrongdoers must be punished” (2nd strike)
“let’s incarcerate them , then we will be safe” (3rd strike)
the worst of all is the lie we told ourselves (we will be safe),
We tricked ourselves and we are not safe- because now we have to work twice as hard
And the problem continues to occur while the debts continue to rise.

Perhaps one day we will learn to communicate & educate instead of fight and control
Until then well I would have to say the roman version was much more efficient and
If I had a to make the choice ~ prison or snake, dog, rooster – I personally would
sign up for the river ride with the critters. It would be a short ride.

Bullies
By: lone Heron

Have you ever noticed how bullies often seem to be angry people and they seem to like to pick on the underdogs until eventually one of two things happens either the underdog disappears or they explode and conquer the bully. If the underdog can avoid the bully he will but if he can’t, he gets his ass kicked til he figures how to fight back which is often just pure survival instinct.

Parricide kids grow up with bullies- I believe that bullies are produced because somewhere along the way they made a choice: stop being the underdog and become the bully. The hardass. The dominant being- having played both roles I can tell you neither is truly enjoyable but if there are only two choices I will dominate before I surrender to anothers domination. My preference however would be to operate on a level of communication and cooperation. Unfortunately not all others know how or are willing to interact on that level. For those people who I meet in life that want to dominate me I findI really only have two options:
1- find a way to stay away from them
2-be more powerful than they thus turning the table of domination back on them.

My first choice would be to move away – to put distance between, but what do you do when you cant distance yourself from the bully who continues to hurt you each time worse than the one before? What do you do when you try to get help and no one listens? What do you do when you are staring death in the face and know he’s coming for you if something does not change-
What do you do when the bully is on top of you, choking you and all you know is fear?

I think most of us would fight for our lives and that is ok as long as we don’t have to kill another to live? What part of a slow painful miserable death brought on by a long term bully masquerading as a parent does the legal system not get? Do the judges who sentence these individuals quietly carry quilt for some of the same issues from somewhere in their past? I do hope those judges who sentence do not have to live the parricide experience in their next life because of all of those they effectively bullied in this life by giving prison sentences to those who defended themselves.

I find It interesting, generally it seems the greater the external bully the greater the internal coward. I know when I stood facing my mother with the gun pointed at her for a moment her bully side completely disappeared and before me no longer stood the mighty controller who had ruled over me my entire life but a small frail coward – she raised her hands as if to stop me just as I had every time she hit me- but just like her I was no longer listening- my pain thresh-hold had exceeded it’s limit and I had no sense of rational reasonable thought, sympathy, empathy or even anger- just a sense of numb completion over shifting from bullied to bully. I wonder, what do those judges who sentence parricide victims to prison feel? I wonder, if those judges suddenly found themselves in the shoes of a parricide child in front of a society elected bully passing judgement if they too would freeze up in the spotlight.

The golden rule seems forgotten way to often, especially by so many who have been placed in positions of power by others. It’s very simple: Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
It seems to me the root of so many of our problems stem from this If we spent a little more energy on looking out for one another instead of competing with one another, we would not have half the problems we do.

Consider how you can contribute, lend a helping hand – even if you think someone is just the biggest jerk in the world, it’s amazing how a kind hand, a warm smile, a thoughtful gesture can turn even the greatest bullies heart. I believe bullies are simply people who have not been treated nice and so sadly the only thing they have to share is what they know- what would the world look like if bullies could learn a different way? I believe it is possible to change and grow but it will take everyone stepping forward in themselves and striving to be a better human. It will require that hearts open and shields drop. It will require for us to love one another instead of bully one another. It seems so simple and yet we just can’t seem to master it.

What will it take to forgive one another? What will it take to stop the very violent patterns that course through our very blood? Violence only begets more violence and education is expensive but the cost of our stubborn ignorance is three times as high. Making more laws changes nothing, incarceration changes very little but education has the power to change everything.
So take a moment and try something new. Move away from the insanity of doing the same things over and over hoping for different results that will never come.

Throwaway children in a throwaway society.
By Lone Heron

It seems we create a lot of “trash” from people to plastic bottles- we are a discarding society- There seems to be a wasteful mentality that has now grown till the point that it stands ready to devour the discarders themselves.

I wonder, do people hold anything sacred anymore?
Do we appreciate how good we have it? Those from the great depression hold onto everything while their offspring throw it away as fast as they can-

I have heard it said, people cannot appreciate anything they have not earned. I believe there is truth in that, as often people give me things I do not want and I pass them along to others only to wish much later I had held onto that thing that was previously of no value – but I could sure use now.

What will we do as a society when all the people we have thrown away in jail because we did not know what else to do with these individuals who strike fear in our hearts from the actions they took become a burden we can no longer carry?

When will we realize that although they may or may not have been the one to actually commit the crime we all played a part in it- some passively others actively- but we are all guilty- the law agrees with if you were there when the act occurred automatically you are an accomplice wether it’s true or not is not the point – the point is they are doing their job based on what society called for- but most people were thinking mass murders and thieves for crooked reasons not murder for self defense- No, to the law,murder is murder – it is only separated by small degrees of intensity on what kind of murder but no where is there a category of sentencing on murder for self defense -is there? No, that’s just self defense not murder.
How can we blame a kid who is 11,13,15,16,17 even18 years old who put an end to something we as adults would not have tolerated for a day or a week much less decades?

How can we condemn these kids when we know the truth? When we condemn them are we not also condemning ourselves?
If someone is so bad that they must be locked up for life and we must support their incarceration I figure that makes us just as quietly guilty otherwise why would we be willing to work so hard to support something which is a drain to all?

Have we lost so much feeling and resourcefulness to grow that we must penalize those who are doing nothing but trying to survive? Are we so heartless that we will not give a second chance because our fear refuses such opportunity? It might seem so depending on where you look but that is not necessarily the truth either.

Truth is a hard subject – it looks different for everyone- Truth is relative but often ignored-
Punishment delivered by others is never as just as what our subconscious would deliver.
I say this because of my own experience which I have shared in Inherited Rage.
I would really like to hear opinions from others- I would like to know if other people think I would have suffered more in jail- would jail have made me a more moral person? A better citizen? I don’t think so- I think if I had of gone to jail the only difference is the taxpayers would have had to pay my bill. I don’t think I would have the same drive to make amends- and I am pretty sure I would not have near as much to contribute.
I took two lives in defense of my own- my guilt has driven me to give more life back than I ever took – tell me do the majority of the prisoners feel that way?
I don’t know but I would like to know.

Had I trusted those who were sent to help me and told the truth -they would not have helped me- they would have thrown me in the trash and sent the bill to the citizen in taxes and it would have changed nothing. As it was I took a higher path of my own accord and I help pay uncle SAMs bill every year right along with everyone else but I am tired of uncle Sam spending my money and achieving lil or nothing except more debt, more heartache and more empty promises – but I know I can’t even blame the government because the government is controlled indirectly and directly by puppets representing the masses – puppets caught between the higher ups and the lower downs. I ask you why do we need these puppets?

Nothing will change until we change as individuals. Nothing will change until we take out our own trash and face the mountain we have created. I say the worst thing about politicians is not politicians, it’s the people who have elected them to do something with the trash the people have created because they don’t want to get their own hands dirty.

My answer of resolution is get a pair of gloves and get involved. I would like to know what is your plan? I would like to know how we can work together to help everyone- So many look to the government and the government looks to the people- when will we stop rubbernecking while we drive by doing nothing? When will we rise up and pitch in and quit waiting on others to do it for us? When will we become thinkers and doers instead of a nation of watchers? The event of parricide I would gamble to say would never happen if communities would stand up against those who they know are committing such heinous acts. Our ancestors conquered America; we stole it from the Indians- We fought unimaginable things and survived but did we win our freedom simply to turn around and enslave ourselves? Did we win our freedom at the loss of our heart and soul? Did we win our freedom at the expense of others and now karma is serving us up a dose of our own?

That’s how it seems to me. I am not willing to surrender to that demise and I wonder who of you out there is with me? Who is willing to stand and speak and ask not for another slice of pie but instead demand an entirely different kind of pie? Come my fellow countrymen and stand in unison with me- together we can change everything for the better but we must do it collectively Let us rally together and resolve our issues in a chorus so loud that the government officials we have elected can not deny us the one thing we all deserve freedom- and that should include freedom to fight for our lives without penalty even if that means death. Note I did not say murder I said fight for our lives- there is a difference!

Self Defense can look like Murder
By: Lone Heron

Having experienced parricide personally I can tell you – it is a situation of
self defense and even though the events of parricide commonly happen when
the parents are not expecting it and the courts deem them guilty because the
threat was not “imminent” what many don’t seem to understand is when the
events that lead to parricide have been continuing over such a long period of time-
they are imminent! When the nightmare continues to happen and just gets
worse and worse and you know it’s going to happen again that makes it
imminent!

If another country is going to attack us and we know it’s coming it’s ok in
military maneuvers to get the jump and attack first but it’s not ok in a
home where you have grown up under a parent who rules the home like a Nazi
concentration camp? It’s not ok to be in a state of shell shock; that’s the WWI term
for post traumatic stress disorder and fight for your life syndrome. This condition has been
filed under many names throughout history. It is nothing new, but it will never be less awful.

We want to believe that the only one’s who have experienced this are those
who have gone to war- it is impossible for outsiders, even friends and family
to see what truly goes on in parricide situations, just like it took forever
to see what the Nazis were doing. People: you weren’t there, you are not
God, you don’t know and you will never truly understand until you experience
it personally, which I pray you never do but sadly I believe eventually many of
you will because that seems to be what happens to those who pass judgements
on things they don’t know- fate seems to lead them to the experience so they can know.

I personally would absolutely love to see those judges who sentence
parricide children to prison experience one week with my mother as she was
at her peak- I would bet money within one measly week they would start to
think a different way and I wouldn’t give even a year before either the
judge or my mom would be dead.

I will personally challenge anyone who says parricide kids are wrong for
their actions with one question- if you had someone doing things to you like
the Kermodes ( you can read about them in the murder of Jacob,
By: Maryellen Johnson From http://www.pendulumfoundation.com)
do you honestly think you would deserve prison for
saving yourself? I killed my parents when I was 18 in an ultimate act of self defense-
I did not serve a life sentence. – I paid my dues another way you can
read about it – “Inherited Rage” by Lone Heron – Www.amazon.com

Thoughts on Dark Knight Shootings in Colorado
By: Mary Ellen Johnson

It’s happened again. Another mass shooting in Colorado. The first, Columbine, was followed by more tough-on-crime rhetoric and talk about not blaming the guns because “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.“ That same logic is being applied to this horror. Yes, it makes sense. So next time we send troops to war, let’s arm them to the teeth with… other people. Forget the weapons. Remember, it’s the people!!

Do I believe we will engage in an actual dialogue, an actual search for answers following the Dark Knight shootings?

No.

I do know this. If we start seeking knee-jerk solutions – tougher sentencing laws for gun crimes, expanding the net of current laws – we will find ourselves thirteen years later – as we did in the wake of Columbine – trying to undo the damage of ill-conceived actions that do not prevent further abominations and simply compound our nation’s sickness.

I wish I had answers. I don’t. Or I have some ideas but they won’t be implemented so why bother pretending otherwise?

As we pretend that this time we will do something, that this time we aren’t just mouthing empty platitudes, I will just remind everyone that mass incarceration is not the answer.

Nor is mindless retribution.

But, then, what is??
Call to Action

Sign Our Petition – http://www.change.org/petitions/gov-john-hickenlooper-turn-back-the-clock-on-juvenile-sentences

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Is There a Way to Prevent Parricide?

By: Lone Heron

I believe parricide could be prevented but it will require individuals in the community to stand together, to be alert, to communicate, collect evidence and offer assistance.

Generally, the first to know something is wrong in a child’s life is the child’s peers. Kids talk to kids when they won’t talk to adults. Very often kids may not necessarily understand what they know–meaning they might know something is wrong, but not really know why or how to fix it.

They may realize their friend gets yelled at a lot or has odd bruises (but then again they may never see the bruises. Abusers are adept at hiding signs of their pathology.) They may notice that “Jacob” or “James” has excessive chores or may have a tendency to be tired and sleepy in class.

Signs that all is not right at home manifest in many ways. We just need to learn to read the language. A consistently disheveled appearance, or being consistently overdressed, or over-prepared might be a clue. Perhaps a child who is not allowed to date or who speaks in extremes, consistently becoming angrier in his/her commentary about their parents. When a peer hears another classmate saying things like “I hate my mother, father, parents…”

Hate is a very strong word. Many teenagers will use the term at least once in their childhood, particularly if they have a parent who is truly watching out for their wellbeing. For example, I think it unwise for a 14-year-old to date a 17-year- old and it is very easy to imagine that very put upon 14-yr-old pulling a tantrum and screaming, “I hate you!”. However, she’ll soon get over it. That’s just part of the hormone/angst/drama thing that is part of being a teenager.

There’s a difference between that and an abused child’s behavior, and for those who choose to observe – particularly trained professionals such as teachers and counselors – the differences are obvious.

In cases like Jacob Ind’s, had the community gathered as a group and approached Jacob’s parents and even removed Jacob from the residence his entire life would have taken a different course.

He certainly wouldn’t be dying a slow death behind prison walls.

The warning flags for parricide can be predicted and they can be stopped.

In my opinion, it should be standard protocol to question any child who has made statements to the effect of wishing their parents dead. I do not believe this is “normal” childhood rebellion or even simple teen angst; it is a red flag that demands attention and is a cry for some kind of help.

Who am I to have all these thoughts? Just another parricide survivor who is just as tired of hearing about parricide as cops are of coming on the scene of just another driver who was mutilated because he chose not to wear his seatbelt.

Jacob Ind and I both tried to get help as did other parricide children- but to no avail, our only option was to help ourselves….our instinct for survival took over and we did just that. Until those who surround these types of situations rise and stand strong against such occurrences we will continue to see them happen.

You can read my story “Inherited Rage” at http://www.amazon.com
You can find the murder of Jacob under Maryellen’s blogs at http://www.pendulumfoundation.com
http://www.change.org/petitions/free-jacob-ind-and-other-abused-kids.

Please read our stories and share them with your family and friends. Learn what you can do to stop these events from happening in your neighborhoods. Please share your ideas or thoughts and help us build a better community for everyone.